Talking with Noah

Dear Reader(s?),

I would like to start this entry by saying omg totally sorry bout bein a lazy betch! I have been like not writing blogz and all that. I know that I have at least 4 loyal fans, and it is my responsibility to feed them, as the Vampire’s Slave must feed their blood to the Vampire. I will be writing at least 2wice a week now.

Firsties let me update you on my Life. I have moved to Greenpoint. I am living with Thomas Shriver. We have the most amazing little apartment and its gonna b crazy gr8 to live here.

I have been reading Anne Rice. I just finished The Vampire Lestat, which is Book 2 of The Vampire Chronicles. The first being Interview With The Vampire. I have to say that as I came to the end of the second book I realized something. I am an evil Vampire demon bitch. Or at least my eternal soul is. Vampires are so cool, and I wanna be one. Although I don’t think I could live with myself if I were murdering people left and right just to suck up sum yummy blood. And Im not gonna b sum pathetic Vampire freak who sucks the guts out of frogs and dead rats and shit. But I am feeling ever more gothic and creepy. I didn’t know I was gothic before, but I am. Aren’t we all just waiting to bloom into Ancient flowers of DEATH?

I have become fat. In my happiness and comfort I have become a fat person. I despair joy. Depressed people are skeletal perfection. What have I done to suffer this blubbery existance? Whos going to touch me if I look like a puffy log? I am just another Jovial bloated Santa Claus distributing my bounty of love to the people of NY. Unfortunately I’d rather be dead sucking the zero caloric blood of the innocent than helping people while my reflection shows the satisfied maggot I have become.

Oh well, I will just have to worship satan more and surely the great dead thing will send me bountiful skinniness from Hell.

On that note I will be going to pull at my stomache for 45 minutes.

x zero x zero

Noah