Talking with Noah

Dear Reader(s?),

I’m sitting here, at the Lilly Library (who, if you ask me, should have one L) thinking to myself…Why is it my intolerable mother won’t release me from the confines of her Sanctum. (HER sanctum) Now, perhaps my judgment treads on the wrong side of the trax, perhaps. Simply put, my patience lingers briefly before I erupt, and I do. Erupt. I think to myself, no loving parent would be readying business bank deposits whilst weary son wallows on Public Access Computers. EW, who, WHAT rather, does she think I am? To what foul level of degradation shall my, if you can call her this, Mother push me towards? And upon arrival of my new lower class existence where will I place my trust, surely She will not accompany. Sure, I could have learned how to drive. Sure, I could walk. SURE, I could take a very convenient bus for free. But who in their right mind deserves to be treated in that manner? Shouldn’t my Own Mother wish to carry me away to paradise? Rather…Work. Some of us have SCHEDULES. some of us NEED TO GET TO WORK. others (my MOM) are just playing banker with her cards in this LIBRARY. HAH how can you have a job at a library? its where you go to get books, which are primarily read in leisure. I work hard for the money. So hard for it Honey. All in All, I’m disappointed, yes. But I will soon free myself (with her assistance) from the confines of this sinking grave. Brueggers surely awaits anxiously anticipating my belated arrival. And for what? For measly Doctors Appointments? Shall I sacrafice all I have worked for with regular, consistent, (MAXIMUM) slight variating orders at my Favourite Little Bagel Shop, simply to have some MAN prod my body? I fear my reality and all I know to matter is crumbling. Although, I suppose there are others who may have it worse, perhaps.

noAh!!1!11′;

p.s. if you didn’t read yesterdays blog, spare yourself the pain……its below.WATCHING

Dear Reader(s?),

There is, undeniably, a difference between right and wrong. In soceity, in relationships, in life. In every action anyone takes, there is two interpretations of that action. Right or WRONG. You can’t have it both ways, and it is NOT a gray area. You know what you’re doing it when you do it, and there are no excuses afterwordsa. If you think you can just back out of your choices later or make up for it by spewing apologies, you’re WRONG. not right. With every move you make you’re either progressing towards Truth Honesty and Noble Love…or you are notching away at your tally of wrong doings. And with each notch you’re loosening the floorboards underwhich lies the almst endless crater to HELL. Everything I have ever done may not be right, but its definately not wrong. But since I said no gray areas, I have only ever done the right thing. This isn’t about me, and surprisingly its not even about you (at leats it better not be, or i’ve got some powerful readers) This weblog post is aimed towards Jesus Christ andhis Dirty Dad God.

Why, you ask? Ask no more. I’m here to tell you.

When creating something, say…the WORLD. You need to recognize your responsibilities (i.e. creating endearing environments and creatures) Okay, that seems simple enough. Heh. Seems possible. Heh. You would, asuming you’re not a shithole understand what someone might want to touch, and what somewhat might not want to touch. Understand what looks appealing, andwhat looks like satan had a rectal prolapse which looks like this
(please, do not click that link. i only linked to a thumbnail because its so disturbing..don’t you dare google it) If you now know what a rectal prolapse looks like, you understand that somethings are inherently, with no argument – wrong. WRONG.

He got it right -with the bunny

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Yeah, thats about right. Good work. That thing is fucking IRRESISTABLE. if it told me to shave the skin off my calves I’d gladly abide. Hand me the blade.

He got it right with the elephant

Heck yes. That thing is so RIGHT. hehe its gray and weird lookign with cute little baby fuzz hair, its freaky delicious cute. I couldn’t sya not to this trunkle balloba doobiwoobi hehehee if i wanted to.and i dont want to.

he even got it righr with the elephant-seal.

Yeah..Honestly that face is a little freaky. A little…inhuman. It kind of looks like Protoss or something. It kind of looks abnormal, but its still not wrong. Itscute, come on!!! just dont look at it, too long. Anyway, not much wrong with this guy, heck its not like we have fins, its not like me live in the sea!!…………………………..thank god. for the next animal abomination does. it swims, if you believe that, every day….just lurking.

imagine for a second, and im going to post the image way down so you can scroll to see it. imagine you are walking along the ebach, see some cute seagulls, babys playing….decide…heck! why not dip into the cool blue waters..? why not? So you get in, hehe, its fun! you’re wet, you’re havin a great time, worst scenario, a jellyfish urks your leg. That aint happenin, sheesh. And then, you look down…AND THIS IS STARING UP AT YOU

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NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK

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not suitable….for anything.

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This is no joke, poeple. THAT exists. if you can’t bare to read my blog anymore knowing its now digitally alive here, staring straight at you from my pages. waiting for you to step on it. before it SHOOTS ITS EYES STRAIGHT AT YOU..Then I understand, I really do. this animal has human eyes. human eyeballs staring at you. They say they’ve discovered this “blob fish” honestly i think we’ve discovered Lucifer Himself. I’m not kidding, what are the odds that could be a real animal. Hell coughed that up. thats the onyl explanation,. for no god who’d create the Bunny. The Elephant, the Elephant Seal Baby. No god who’d make these things would then create THAT. it has no name. its name is Legion, and it is many. no life from no to the end of time is worth living knowing that THING is out there.

I believe we’ve found a hole to the parallel universse that is HELL, and this is the harbinger of death who has slipped into our world.   and hes tricked us, tricked our scientists, the men of science and logic, the creators of our industrial brilliance.   have beenbamboozled by this reaper.

So, if you thought My Message was quesitonable before, surely now you see where I’m coming from. I will sleep no longer in restful bliss, nor have a calm moment of relief. I will NEVER go into the ocean again. My life is ruined because of that fucking anal explosion with mans eyes. i thought i’d take a few more down with me -SORRY

*hooks up to an IV*

>_>

nOaH/1!!!1!11

Dear Reader(s?)

What bothers me is simply this – Those people, you know the ones. Ahh heck, you might even be 1 of the bastards (if so, the jig is up) Those people who say things like

“ahh….”

“?what”

“its gonna rain”

“?how do you know”

“ah, my elbow.”

…..Excuse me, but Don’t try ot tell me your elbow Informs you of when its gonna Rain. What kind of freakin sense does that make? Huh? You honestly r trying to get me to believe that when a storms brewing your elbow starts wibbling or wobbling. Or maybe its whispering up at you.

“psssst. you didnt hear it from me, but…”

Come On! I don’t buy it for a second. Problem is the people who spray this propaganda are usually old sweethearts. Little wobbley old ladies who dont know a WEATHERMAN from their own screwing elbow.

“With a 82 percent dew point…and a 98% chance of showers…”

“My Elbow just told me its going to rain.”

“What?”

“My ELBOW, it just said there was 98% chance of rain”

I believe in the supernatural phenomena that occurs in this country on a day 2 day basis. But this ones even 2 far fetched for me. And if youre gonna come back fillin my blog wid comments of how YoU CaN AcTuAlLlY D O tHIs THEN JUST GO SHUT UP AND DONT DO IT. cause i hate liars and i hate tricksters.

now my knee just informed me cold case is on, and i have to catch up on some heroes….

nOaH!!1

Dear Reader(s?),

It can’t be easy to be buried, ever so deeply, under the heavy weight of bushy eyebrows. Listen – I’m telling you, I understand it can’t be easy. Despite the burden you’ve been frowning under, you need to take care of yourself. It is Unhygenic to have long thick wide big eyebrows. Its unsanitary. People argue things like – “Bushy eyebrows are not Unhealthy” I argue – “Yes they are” And despite hard evidence I’m faced with more naysaying. Don’t nay say. Just wax off your forehead’s chode hair and do the rest of us Sanitarians a Big Favour.

Is this you?

Yes, that probably is YOU. don’t let some cocksucker hippie tell you this is natural beauty. Nature didn’t make her that way, some fat boar filled with seizuring maggots shit all over her forehead. God is not here today, reader. Shes sick, she shouldnt be getting her picture taken by anyone but some guy making a medical book. She needs to be Hospitalized.

Is THIS you?

Yeah, theyre a litttttle too big, but theyre not bad. I like them. That is what ALL people should look like. Thats not gonna get old pork stuck in it on the 4th of July. Nobodies Christmas Ham is gonna be digging its way into the crevices of this bush. Nor will you be accused of Having some animals shit smear above your eyeballs.

Is that what you Want? For some guy to ask you if your cat smeared its Shit all over your Head?

No. I don’t think so. (please call me if yes)

Is This You?

Please, you wish. We All Know Who That Is. Leonardo Dicaprio. Oh my God I mean Me. You udnerstand, even I get us confused. That OBV isnt you, its TOTES me. Notice the Perfect eyeBrOwS. Don’t be jelly. nah be jelly. Its gods work. Some say theyre shaped after the arches of Heaven. Although I think the arches were based on My Eybrows. feel free to print this page 2 show yr Waxer. Though, don’t get your hopes up. you cant duplicate an original.

Disclaimer: Please do not think I’m advising shaving off your eyebrows and drawing them on -That crap is for Hideous Ugly Retarded Clown Freaks. And if you get wrapped up in that World of Shit, you could find yourself praying for a big thicket of dog crap instead of Pube Stubble and Paint.

As always I make a vow to adhere true to my Mantra

“I Never Judge Another”

& my other mantra

“Do Not Be Vain or Arrogant”

nOaH!1

People are always going to try and tell you how to act, what to do, and who to be. YOUR MOM, your BOSS, your GOVERNMENT (fucking pigs). aND no,No. Its not fair. It Isn’t Fair. But as surely as those three tyrannical opressors have said to you before – Life isn’t fair. So compose yourself, wipe them tears from your eyes, have Ida your maid strap that corsette to the Nines, and redeem yourself from your moment of sorrow. Beyond the corners of your narrow momentary vision of stagnant presence is a glowing shImErRiNg GolDenpEARl window of opportunity. Unles, you in fact are unnattractive. In which case, I have noa dvice for you. I have notihng to offer you -NOW SCRAM! The world has not given you a chance, and I’m not gonna stain my good name trying to help out some chubby sucker.LOOK dont fucking think im such a fuckign jerk,IT WASNT EAYS FOR ME TO GET WHERE I AM TODAY EITHER. you never got no where doin nuttin for no one. go o, GET! go on…just go.

Okay Beauties.

Next time your MOM tells you to WAASH THE DIISHES. you know, in that voice they do…Say No. aCTUALLY, SYA yES. Then do not wash them.  And that is the most important part, not actually doing it.  See if you say yes and just do it, you will not be disobeying her you’ll be living the life SHE wants oyu to lead.  not living your own.  and i think thats the biggest part of growing up, living your own life.  and unless youre a Square I doubt dishes is part of yournew life.

are doing the dishes part of your new life?

NO. thats why i only eat on paper.  however that wastes trees and i dont like 2 waste trees.  so i onyl eat on my hands.  its kinda cool really.  try it.

I think AIM is the single coolest thing I know.  I LoVE iT.  It really is great.  If you dont know my aim name its the classic omgboy73  .  I am always online, so u can ALWAYS leave me a message.  if theres one thing i dotn understand – and aim aficianados unite, if im wrong on this please correct me.  WHY CANT U WARN PPL anymore.  it was a very neat feature.  sum fella say something youre not too keen on, give him the warning! i jsut dotn want it tog o anywhere. i dont want to lose it.  you find so few things inn life that can stay constant, and an ever present aim log on is so comforting – to me.  given i recognize all people have their own schtick.  mine is chatting 2 u on aim.  so sue me!

what kind of person would oyu be if you actually sued me over that though.

nOaH!!

If I were an animal, I would be whatever animal it is that picks off douche bags and numbskulls.  I would soar magestically over western mass sloughing off the douchie numbskulls.  Unfortunately I’d be the only one left.  (and sylvie and alta and sofia and dan robert) and then im guessing id get in big trouble.  However u can’t really get MAD at animals.  Its not like I knew whta I was doing- I was just providing piece of Natures interwoven web.  I’d be like the bees, without them hussies spreadin’ their juice all over the world with any flower able to spread it, a lot of other bad crap would happen.  I’m just an integral part of the system. Or…would be, rather.  Anyway pay no mind to me I’m just off in la la land dreaming of some picturesque dreamreality.

Lets talk about Diet Coke.

man, woah.  I mean, its really not something I Kid about.  I love that …cold…ice…cold…dark,black…..almost frozen icey steelflavored liquid metal.  i like to eat it with everyhting i eat.  i think its delicious.  although i realize this keeps me from my life goal of being an earth munching crunch dyke.  something ive come to live with.  i used to (im ashamed 2 say) really hate diet coke.  but….if you just give it achance to get you addicted. it really works.  just let that aspartame sink into your being.  i dont taste what i used to taste anymore – its a hwole new fantastic world.  every other soda tastes like poison to me now.  which is good since theyll all make you fat – but not D.C.  D.C. will keep uskinny and beautiful.  if i could id become a diet coke, and id smile at everyone i saw and id dirnk myself until i died.  then id piss myself out over a glass of ice and do it again.  dont believe me?  just try me, just try it.okay?  if i were a plant id be the tre they get diet coke from.

homework:  find out what tree they get D.C. from

nOaH!!

Dear Reader(s?),

Reader you’re in for a treat. I have chosen to reveal to you my October ‘07 top 5 sexxy mofo awards. Mofo means Mother Fucker. In my personal point of view all these people could be dumb as bricks – but thats not the criteria for selection. Rather its more about which features of sex Jesus chose to bestow upon these Sexy Ass Mofos. Hahahahahahahahehehhehe.

Gabe is sexxy – he is really tall. hes totally in my top 5 – which is in no particular order. i mostly have to say that natural blondes just have an instant in. seeing as i am one – i like to reward my own. good job gabe

corey…whatever i DO NoT have a crush on corey. he has a crush on me. hahahahahhahahaa. hes justa classic SEXXY classmate. good job corey. stop callin me!

high school boys…..but this one CLEARLY has an edge. he looks pRetTy gOoD @ tHaT lol – NOW stop harrassin me with yr yearbooks or w/e u sell downtown!!

joey joe joe boey bam dom doo too ploip joe. yr on fire! but, youARE my boyfriend.

dood thx for the ride.

Ethan wins as well. Look Ethan. Don’t get freaked out. Its just that sense u went to the city I REALLY THINK YOU’VE GOTTEN HOTTER. youre obviously cute i think that you are great and i know that i gave u the perfect haircut. ethan i rlly want 2 congratulate u for being so smart -your pants i saw u in last time is aw you were FECKING SEXXY. which helped in getting u a place in my Top 5 sExXy AsS MoFo AwArD!!!

i’ve cut all but one of these honey’s hair.(corey).but i dont want to tell you who.

its not hard 4 me 2 B honest w u and expose the delicious people above me. hell, they’ve been there b4 ;p odds are your personal lists have at leats 3 of these studs. i can’t B expected 2 be in a relationship….i’m 2 hung young to spread myself so thin. not that 1′m not thin…i just livin’ it up sInGlE StYlE!!11!!1! WOOT WOOT butJEEZ we got an activist,a World of Warcraft STar, A cRaZy mUsIciAn,A Quieter Musician,A COLLEGE HUNK…..jesus christ……… @_@  !!!

<(^_^)>

id pay cash $$$ for some (more) nudes of these colts

anyway….moving to NYC November.

I loves sleeping so im like….GONE

hehehehehhehe

nOaH!!

here I controlled the world

red means poop

u better run

nOaH!!